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First off:
The Far-case, if I hadn’t reacted to Far’s tirade (her reaction to ‘correct’ accusations of bias) then I would not be in the play, as a misunderstanding about my selection would not have been cleared up(i.e. “Nida” would be interpreted as a nonexistent absentee, as opposed to a common distortion of my name. And neither I nor Far would find out that I was one of the three girls initially selected. ). Which as confusing it sounds (quite deliberately) is none of your business as usual.
F: Do you have something to say to me?
Me: Me?
F: Yes
Me: About the play…any news on who’s selected?
F: No not yet
Me: Fine. (Thinking: Jibran knows he’s selected, Saad knows he’s selected, and everybody else who asks her, gets a straight/definite answer.)
F: Are you sure you don’t have anything to talk to me about since your mails seem to suggest otherwise.
Me: I wrote that I’m sorry… that doesn’t suggest anything about wanting to communicate rather quite the contrary”
F: What?!
Me: No, I have said my piece and made my peace as well.
F: Come to the room with me and we’ll talk about this.
Me: There’s nothing to talk about.
F: Come to the room with me
Me: I’m not going to any room with you.
F: You were not good enough. That’s why you are not going to the LUMUN. The people, who didn’t make it to the play, can try out next Saturday and ‘you’ can come for the next audition, you were not good.
Me: If I was someone else I’d believe you, Mustafa told me about Altamash and how he couldn’t even speak.”
F: He’s in the other slot.
Me: Yes… the slots that did not exist until after the bogus trial that I was called to.
F: You were not the only one called
Me: Was anyone who was ‘called’ selected? Did anyone from the party that was called on my designated day ‘not’ speak? Rather was anyone from the 24 people who attended the first LUMUN meeting not selected? I wonder why I’m beginning to question the legitimacy of the second trial; I wonder why I think it was bogus and a waste of my time… the point is you called me without reason on a day I did not have a class for the umm… fun of it?
F: I don’t need your negative energy, this is so juvenile! I’m going to Mr. Tariq’s office, you don’t know about the power I have.
Me: I didn’t want to say anything. You came to me and you’re the one who keeps calling me to a strange room. And that too, after I’d written sorry, well I’m not sorry. Who’s Mr. Tariq? (Wondering) I don’t mind going to anybody’s office.
F: Mr. Tariq is the guy who owns l’ecole. Look at the way she’s talking to me, do you see this?
Me: For one these People are ‘my’ friends and two, how should I talk to you?
Except for this guy, he’s new I don’t know him.
F: You wrote ‘screw you’ in your mails, and now you’re embarrassed in front of your friends. This wouldn’t have happened if you’d come to the room with me.
Me: I’m not embarrassed, I’m right, why should I be embarrassed? And I never wrote ‘screw you’ I wrote ‘please don’t screw the play thing up for me” or something to that effect. And there was the bulletin thing. You told me to write an article in front of your favorite Saad and on the next day you said ‘No’, ‘cause you just felt like it. Third times’ a charm…
F: Did you submit an article?
Me: How could I, you said ‘no’?
F: I don’t want to come down to your level. You have negative energy,(she’s been stuck on that , ever since Saad claimed I was being negative/pessimistic which needless to state does ‘not’ mean I have negative energy.) keep it with you. This is so juvenile (word from my book, I wonder which horrible version the masses have read).
Ayesha: Look Nadia, if you’d just state your case maybe she’d understand.
Me (to A): No, she wouldn’t, what case? There’s nothing to state, she’s daft… (She’s too busy insecurely defending herself to see my point of view or how what she did was wrong)
F: She just called me daft, did you see that? I really don’t want to come down to your level.
Me: Well, I don’t know what your agenda is. I didn’t start this, but since we’re on the subject, I don’t ever want to come down to your level. For even now, it’s below me!

Jibran: Dramabaaz larki, I’ve never seen you like this… khajoor?
Me: shut up!
Jibran: I’m just trying to make you happy
Me: And when has ‘that’ ever made me happy? What have I done, I wrote I’m sorry, I thought I ended this.
An: She’s afraid of you, when you were complaining about being called for the fake LUMUN trial, she was afraid you’d go to Mr. Tariq.
Me: That doesn’t even make sense.
An: What are we going to say if someone asks us if you called her daft? Is that really an insult? Doesn’t it mean silly or childish
Ayesa: It’s a nice way of calling someone stupid!
An: But she’s right, haven’t you seen F? F is really nice to guys, even ‘they’ know it, have you seen her around Jibran?
Ayesa: She’s not right! You’re supposed to keep your cool around people, ‘especially’ when you know they don’t like you.
Me: Nice way? ‘Silly’, childish, petty, daft… euphemisms for stupidity…
Jiban: huh? …Khajoor?
Me: Phir se? Tum to jao…
Jiban: I’m just trying to make you happy.
Me: By annoying me?
Jibran: Geebat buri baat hoti hai. You were both wrong, yelling at each other. Girls!
Me: Tum se poochha hai?
Discussion on geebat and Ramadan
For the moment, my bleeding stuffy (literally) nose aches. ‘Been attempting to read my guides, ‘was supposed to go to school at 4 (arrive at 4:30), ‘was supposed to wait for someone to take textbooks out of his car yesterday, ‘was supposed to download marketing slides from a certain terminal at school… ended up getting upset all day, ‘cause my mother , whom I unwillingly depend on , decided to slyly accuse me of being a suicidal maniac , since I’ve ‘threatened’, ‘attempted’ and ‘committed’ suicide(as all wonderfully credible(some by myself…could I ever be sarcastic? How impossible) non-satirical testimonials proclaim) those accusations as usual taken from my wonderful audience of avid readers(including my mother, and my dearest father) in all their opulent thirst for blood venom and spite , can never ever be, dare I say?…bogus!
Oh no, not again! The advent of sense… pithy ye … swoon and die for this devastating mail actually prods you to use your … ‘brain’? To quote the author of my stats guide M.Knott “Only a numbskull would produce a probability greater than 1, but we are all numbskulls at times”. People think being brainy is a constant, as though making a sensible assertion once , means you always will/do…not true: The proof needs no explanation since it is with everyone individually, no one is sacrosanct. “Let he who is free of sin, cast the first stone’-Jesus Christ, the Bible
Right now, though I feel more guilty than anyone.